Friday, May 13, 2011

We Want To Be Free! To Do What We Want To Do!

Finally, finally, finally. I seem to have figured it out. I've enrolled in beauty school and each time I've visited (first for info and a tour -to see if I liked it, second to enroll) just being there makes me feel incredibly happy and energized and mellow at once. I knew it was what I wanted to be doing but had worried that it wouldn't be much different from my previous beauty school experience which kind of sucked -the environment, the "education", and sadly even most of the people. I have been assured, in fact, that I had previously attended one of the worst schools in the area. Super.
This one, however, is amazing. Or at least it seems to be so far. The space alone is dreamy: a big open warehouse. The director is young and very nice. The program is intended to provide you with training enough to go straight to work as a stylist after your licensing exam rather than getting stuck as an assistant for years after you finish school. Small to many, perhaps, but a very good sign to me of "what's really important" is that there is no uniform or crazy dress code either. I love this because I've always felt that uniforms and dress codes have no place in creative schools or professions. I really do believe that people telling you what not to wear infringes on your creative urges on a daily basis and grinds them down over time. Not to mention the obvious message of mandatory conformity. This could be a whole 'nother post for me but instead I'll just keep on with it here for a minute longer: When I was growing up and all through my 20's I wore some pretty wacky things. I even sewed some not-quite-right pieces and wore them unapologetically and often. Dresses with unfinished hems, necklines and arm holes. Tops that were nearly perfect had it not been for them being ever so slightly crooked or lopsided. Oh well. Once I was promoted high enough at work that I became "visible" on a new level I had to alter what I wore. It became a source of stress for me, to find an outfit that was both appropriate for work and that I still felt like myself in. Something that wouldn't create a nasty expression on my bosses face. I despise all attempts to control me on any level. After a while I fell into a rut of bland basics. All of this has a lot to do with my unemployment obsession of wearing whatever I want to. Not only did I actually get excited to get dressed in the morning but I sometimes even felt a little confused about what I might want to wear and whether most of my clothes suited me anymore. So these days I think I am back to feeling like myself and wearing what feels natural to me on any given day and I kind of promised myself that part of finding a happy occupation was to find one which allowed me to be truly myself at all times. I didn't want a job that made me go out and buy more clothes that I didn't actually want to wear. It's just not for me. Style is a big part of having complete freedom of personal expression. So after a week of weighing options and feeling concerned about making the best commitment for myself and my unknowable future I've chosen a career that encourages me to be me and I seem to have found the best possible place to start. I couldn't be more excited.

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