Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Venus Trined Jupiter and All I Got Was Good Hair Days

Venus is in Leo right now: sign of the mane-like hair and my relationship house. Jupiter is the planet of luck and expansion. Three different people predicted that I would fall in love this summer. All separate people, all different times. It seems somehow profound. How can three people be wrong? I know, doesn't that sound funny? I love to say it.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Maybe I'm the Big Bad Wolf



Where did I even see it first? I can't remember now even though it was just a minute ago. Some astrology page I've never read before. Everything happens for a reason. They keep saying that with all this planetary action and Uranus into Aries people who've been abused in some way are about to blow their lids. And yours. I just found (this is what I was talking about) that in August of 1999 there was a similar event to what is brewing now. A solar eclipse (this one in Leo and Aquarius) and a T-square between mars in Scorpio and Saturn in Taurus. The breakdown they gave was: Sun and Moon conjunct in Leo and Aquarius, respectively, opposing Uranus, also in Aquarius (I believe) while squaring both Mars in Scorpio ad Saturn in Taurus. Mercury, Neptune and Jupiter forming a fixed t-square in Leo, Aquarius and Taurus. I flipped. That's all over the important parts of my chart. I'm thinking, what the hell was going on with me in August 1999?! I read some archived monthly horoscopes and got a bit of a clue. A bunch of stuff I wish I'd had more insight into at the time, wish I'd had better friends in my life back then, too. Wish I'd learned more from it. But now... here we are again. It's not so powerful for me anymore except it is. I'm surrounded by people who are in the tough seats for this one. And maybe this time I'm not a little pig in a straw house. Maybe I'm the big bad wolf.
With the cardinal square and the lunar eclipse approaching this weekend I see a lot of people struggling around me. With themselves, with the people in their lives, with situations beyond their control. Some people are experiencing furious flashpoints over nothing, really. Some people are flowing despite the friction. The moon right now is 98% full. We're not even there yet. Everything is about to change. I don't know about you but I'm certainly ready.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Spring, Late


I so love being outside and the particular green of plants which you simply cannot reproduce because of how it is made up of water and light. For awhile I have been planning and researching how to make my own string garden and fully intend to begin it once I finish painting my living room. I even chose a light blue so that it would seem more like being outdoors on a clear day, and will provide the perfect backdrop for my new garden.


I also love to have lots of potted plants but am afraid that my dog will one of these days tear them up which is not only disappointing but also very messy. To avoid this, and because I love the unusual, my new second favorite indoor gardens are these beautiful little homemade terrariums in which even I should be able to sustain some delicate ferns.

In the Beanfields



Saturn at the end of Virgo leaves Aquarians hanging between two lives. I don't remember which astrologer wrote this before Saturn first ingressed Libra last fall but since it retrograded back into Virgo for a while and is now working it's way back toward Libra again it must still be true. Or is true again. No wonder all the dreams of death.
Last night I dreamed I was in someone else's house. Presumably the house of the guy I seemed to be involved with in the dream. It seemed to be kind of the party house among the group of friends and it was a mess. I was trying to get some sleep and was disgusted at the mess throughout the house. I can't remember exactly what drove me from the bed I was trying to sleep in but it was probably that the whole place seemed to be filthy and dark and there were people in the next room making too much noise. I got up and went to where everyone was and everywhere I went the floor was dirty with black beans. The kind that come already cooked in a can with sauce. In the next room are a bunch of people hanging out and a few dogs and this guy who is supposed to be my boyfriend. I go take a shower and come back and he takes me to another bedroom that is immaculate and light and there's a nice clean bed but the shape is like an upside down L. The space for pillows across the top is there but the area for your body to rest is only the space of one person, not even as wide as a twin bed. It's my boyfriends bed and seems to have been designed so that no one can share it with him.
Bathing is baptism, to cleanse and make new. Also associated with *'fasting in the heart' (from The Secret of the Golden Flower), washing is to remove all mental activities and achieve emptiness.
Dogs are our companions through the underworld. Beds the symbol of rest and love. I think the bed missing space for anyone but the person it belongs to must mean that he is incapable of loving anyone. (Great guy.)
But here's the best: Beans are the first of the gifts of the Underworld for the rites of Spring. The first offering from the dead to the living representing their fertility, their incarnation. In Ancient Egypt the beanfields are where the dead await their reincarnation. "Just before the beginning of Spring, on the evening of the 3 of February, the Japanese scattered beans on the floor, shouting as they did so 'Out with the demons and in with good fortune!'" (* all from the Penguin Dictionary of Symbolism) This must be what I'm doing. Saturn moves back into Libra July 21, 2010 and stays until October 5, 2012.

Friday, June 11, 2010

I Do Not Heart the Dark of the Moon

One of these days I'm going to write a book called How My Youth Was Ruined by Neptune Transiting My First House. It's going to require the naming of a new genre, maybe something like Horrific Biographical Real Fantasy. You will repeatedly gasp and say, "No way!" as you turn the pages hungry for the next beautiful day and dreading the day after that when the illusion of goodness is shattered. Neptune is, in my experience, a total jackass. They try to give him credit saying that he forces us into ourselves to transform and once he finally moves on we emerge like phoenixes, beautiful and rare and breathing fire. And when that day comes, let me tell you, I'm going to burn down the freaking house.
It's the dark of the Moon and we're all supposed to be napping like babies so that we can be fresh and rested and reborn when the Moon is new. Until then it's moody, wacky, crappy.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Still Scorping



Roberto Dutesco

So! Finally some interesting dreams! After two dreams in a row of people breaking into my house (basically). The first one being really odd as whoever was breaking in was leaving graffitti tags in green (Spring -rebirth) paint on the floor each time and removing the door that had been there. A weird dream with a depressing tone, living in a weird rundown basement level (the unconscious) apartment. But many good elements to it as the removal of doors seems to represent moving from the known to the unknown, light to darkness, etc. which can only mean -to me- newness, discovery. In this first one I also climbed stairs (good) and found at the top only blackness which I could not go through -weird and I couldn't decipher it. The next night it was a different and not so deep in the earth seeming basement apartment. My ex-crazy neighbor was trying to come through the window and I was pissed. I think I pulled him through by the feet so that I could beat him and throw him out again through the door. I've had dreams sort of like this before: people trying to break in, people having keys and coming in and insisting that it was their house, suddenly finding people asleep in a bedroom I didn't know was there as if my roommates, the most comical was the one where a really fat guy was trying to squeeze through a six inch opening in the window and I was pushing him back outside. I wish I could remember the interpretation I found for this before. Anyway, overall those two were kind of depressing and too similar even with the good bits they were too weird to make a decent story but I kind of got the gist.
Then last night I have another weird dream. I'm now living in yet another apartment, at first it's really dark inside but I can see clouds through the window (clouds: instruments of epiphany, transformation that sages must undergo to 'annihilate' themselves, surrender. More specifically, rain clouds: fertility, manifestations of heavenly activity, prophetic revelation, metamorphosis.) and when I pass into the next room there are huge windows and I can see that this place is way up high. Through the windows I can see in the distance a small herd of horses galloping toward me from the horizon.
I had a dream about a horse before. It was awesome. I was riding it, not so weird, but it had a steering wheel growing out of its back where the saddle horn should have been and I was out in the city but we were on the sidewalk waiting for the crosswalk to turn green for us. WHAT?!
Anyway, how did I not look up horses before this? Horse: associated with the beginning of time, female mythology -linked both to death and birth. And yes for a second I freaked because I thought maybe I just had a premonition that someone would die but representation of death isn't usually literal. Death is simply what allows rebirth. But seriously, how the hell Scorpionic am I? I always dream of death omens! I am always being reborn!
So, alright, definitely indications of a major metamorphosis. And yesterday was the first of the Jupiter-Uranus conjunctions, this time in Aries, propelling us forward on the evolutionary path (Molly Hall says). From what I can see this is spelling out a very personal, "Look out world!"

FYI: the photo is by Roberto Dutesco who has been photographing the wild horses of Sable Island. There seems to be a new documentary about him out, I saw a clip of it where he's trying to photograph a horse that keeps trying to cuddle with him instead. Very sweet.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Just also wanted to post that I have just gotten my new (super awesome) cellphone with a waaaaay better camera and video camera than was on my last phone so hopefully soon will have some new videos and photo's to post. (Since this blog isn't attached to a social network sometimes I forget that it's personal and not some kind of job?...)

Closing the Gap

This is what blogging is all about. I just saw on someone else's blog a cell phone video of a woman at the local market smashing thousands of dollars worth of booze. When I read the caption in my head and waited for the video to load I pictured it in my head but it was nothing like he real image of a later middle aged blond woman who seemed slightly haggard sweeping a shelf's worth of bottles of wine at a time onto the floor of the grocery store aisle. Repeat, walk a few feet calmly. Sweep, crash, repeat. Sweep, crash, repeat. Sweep, crash, repeat. And so on all the way down the aisle. She didn't seem crazy, quite. And all the time a small crowd is gathering in the frame between the scene down the aisle, complete with absolute lakes of wine on the floor, and the camera. And then the old lady watching the scenes pulls out *her* cellphone and starts filming, too! And I was like: omg, even the old lady has a freaking cellphone with a video camera. AND SHE KNOWS HOW TO USE IT! Neither one of my grandma's can do that! And I think: Dang! Everybody does that now! It's like we're reporting our own news!!! It's kind of hilarious and kind of crazy and kind of freaking AWESOME! Almost anything worth knowing about is bound to be on the internet, along with a bjillion other things. And we're seeing more and more of our "news" this way without the gloss of commercialization. Imagine what this is doing for humanity after years and years of the distance of fame? In some ways fame boils down to having a face that will be recognized by many people.
I was getting my lunch today and at the register there were two men ahead of me. One of them was an employee and the other a visitor. The employee recognized the visitor and acknowledged him fairly casually (I can't remember exactly because I wasn't paying attention at first) and the other guy said something like, "Here I am trying to hide behind my sunglasses..." And after a minute I caught on that this guy must be famous and here he is out trying to just be a normal guy, dressed so casually that he looks nice but absolutely nothing stands out. No labels, nothing. And yes, I'm in Los Angeles where a LOT of people are wearing flashy labels and just as many dream of being so famous they would be recognizable.
But the world has gotten smaller and there are a lot more faces in it. It's unlikely anyone could ever even achieve that romanticized level of stardom again where fame is absolutely worshiped. And at the same all our behavior is free game to the world. We can just as easily be recognized for an injury as for a victory. It's like the first talkie where the screen goddess turns out to have a sqwauky voice and bad grammar.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010




I love love love wood grain. And so, it seems, does Audrey Kawasaki. (Yay, I just learned how to insert the link!) Besides incorporating the color and grain of the wood, I love how delicate her paintings are and all of the references to nature.