In the Beanfields

Saturn at the end of Virgo leaves Aquarians hanging between two lives. I don't remember which astrologer wrote this before Saturn first ingressed Libra last fall but since it retrograded back into Virgo for a while and is now working it's way back toward Libra again it must still be true. Or is true again. No wonder all the dreams of death.
Last night I dreamed I was in someone else's house. Presumably the house of the guy I seemed to be involved with in the dream. It seemed to be kind of the party house among the group of friends and it was a mess. I was trying to get some sleep and was disgusted at the mess throughout the house. I can't remember exactly what drove me from the bed I was trying to sleep in but it was probably that the whole place seemed to be filthy and dark and there were people in the next room making too much noise. I got up and went to where everyone was and everywhere I went the floor was dirty with black beans. The kind that come already cooked in a can with sauce. In the next room are a bunch of people hanging out and a few dogs and this guy who is supposed to be my boyfriend. I go take a shower and come back and he takes me to another bedroom that is immaculate and light and there's a nice clean bed but the shape is like an upside down L. The space for pillows across the top is there but the area for your body to rest is only the space of one person, not even as wide as a twin bed. It's my boyfriends bed and seems to have been designed so that no one can share it with him.
Bathing is baptism, to cleanse and make new. Also associated with *'fasting in the heart' (from The Secret of the Golden Flower), washing is to remove all mental activities and achieve emptiness.
Dogs are our companions through the underworld. Beds the symbol of rest and love. I think the bed missing space for anyone but the person it belongs to must mean that he is incapable of loving anyone. (Great guy.)
But here's the best: Beans are the first of the gifts of the Underworld for the rites of Spring. The first offering from the dead to the living representing their fertility, their incarnation. In Ancient Egypt the beanfields are where the dead await their reincarnation. "Just before the beginning of Spring, on the evening of the 3 of February, the Japanese scattered beans on the floor, shouting as they did so 'Out with the demons and in with good fortune!'" (* all from the Penguin Dictionary of Symbolism) This must be what I'm doing. Saturn moves back into Libra July 21, 2010 and stays until October 5, 2012.

Still Scorping

Roberto Dutesco

So! Finally some interesting dreams! After two dreams in a row of people breaking into my house (basically). The first one being really odd as whoever was breaking in was leaving graffitti tags in green (Spring -rebirth) paint on the floor each time and removing the door that had been there. A weird dream with a depressing tone, living in a weird rundown basement level (the unconscious) apartment. But many good elements to it as the removal of doors seems to represent moving from the known to the unknown, light to darkness, etc. which can only mean -to me- newness, discovery. In this first one I also climbed stairs (good) and found at the top only blackness which I could not go through -weird and I couldn't decipher it. The next night it was a different and not so deep in the earth seeming basement apartment. My ex-crazy neighbor was trying to come through the window and I was pissed. I think I pulled him through by the feet so that I could beat him and throw him out again through the door. I've had dreams sort of like this before: people trying to break in, people having keys and coming in and insisting that it was their house, suddenly finding people asleep in a bedroom I didn't know was there as if my roommates, the most comical was the one where a really fat guy was trying to squeeze through a six inch opening in the window and I was pushing him back outside. I wish I could remember the interpretation I found for this before. Anyway, overall those two were kind of depressing and too similar even with the good bits they were too weird to make a decent story but I kind of got the gist.
Then last night I have another weird dream. I'm now living in yet another apartment, at first it's really dark inside but I can see clouds through the window (clouds: instruments of epiphany, transformation that sages must undergo to 'annihilate' themselves, surrender. More specifically, rain clouds: fertility, manifestations of heavenly activity, prophetic revelation, metamorphosis.) and when I pass into the next room there are huge windows and I can see that this place is way up high. Through the windows I can see in the distance a small herd of horses galloping toward me from the horizon.
I had a dream about a horse before. It was awesome. I was riding it, not so weird, but it had a steering wheel growing out of its back where the saddle horn should have been and I was out in the city but we were on the sidewalk waiting for the crosswalk to turn green for us. WHAT?!
Anyway, how did I not look up horses before this? Horse: associated with the beginning of time, female mythology -linked both to death and birth. And yes for a second I freaked because I thought maybe I just had a premonition that someone would die but representation of death isn't usually literal. Death is simply what allows rebirth. But seriously, how the hell Scorpionic am I? I always dream of death omens! I am always being reborn!
So, alright, definitely indications of a major metamorphosis. And yesterday was the first of the Jupiter-Uranus conjunctions, this time in Aries, propelling us forward on the evolutionary path (Molly Hall says). From what I can see this is spelling out a very personal, "Look out world!"

FYI: the photo is by Roberto Dutesco who has been photographing the wild horses of Sable Island. There seems to be a new documentary about him out, I saw a clip of it where he's trying to photograph a horse that keeps trying to cuddle with him instead. Very sweet.

Somebody Send Me a Dream!

I can't remember my dreams lately. Or sometimes I do just after I wake up but then they're gone. One favorite things to do is interpret them. It's amazing what you don't know you know and what you tell yourself while you're sleeping. Straightforward as reality may seem to some -driving a car from the back seat, climbing a giant chandelier of tiered glass plates with my eyes closed, slip 'n slide bathing on all lanes of the 134 freeway- this is how I know what's going on with me. I'm really missing them lately. I'm pretty sure I've got some backed up messages for myself that aren't getting through for one reason or another. I'm pretty sure I could have it all figured out for a day or two if I had one good dream.
I once had a boyfriend who asked me one morning what I had dreampt. I told him it was strange because it was really washed out, visually kind of transparent, but it seemed to be something like model T Fords drag racing in the desert.... "It worked!" he said, "When I was falling asleep last night I concentrated really hard to send you my dreams!" That's what I call a romantic gift. If anybody out there wouldn't mind sharing until mine come back, that would be great.