Monday, August 20, 2012

A "bad" life only makes a "good" story if it's absolutely tragic.
I've been thinking about the expanse of my entire life lately, in an attempt to convince myself that some things actually can and do change magnificently and profoundly in a lifetime. I'm trying to convince myself about one particular area, actually. I don't know anyone less lucky in love than me -not that anyone's ever physically beaten me or anything equally awful. But that's just what I mean. Not only have I not particularly enjoyed my love life but it doesn't even make for an exciting story. And since I feel I've never gotten anywhere near what I wanted I can't quite imagine it turning around suddenly when the whole concept that it exists seems scarce enough.
People say that the way you feel about your relationship to love is the same story as the way you feel about your relationship to money.
I'm trying to work out some new relationships to both.
Seems to me, if I can do it with one the other simply follows.

What does it mean to dream of rooms and room full of old furniture? These things are not in my dictionary of symbolism. And by "rooms full" I mean warehouses full of furniture that is not only throughout the room but then stacked up. Imagine tall sandwiches of old sofa's, like they've been through the car crusher -they sit atop each other so flush.
I once saw a big flat bed semi truck on the freeway loaded up with flattened cars. It was beautiful.