Over the past two and a half years I left a job I worked at for fourteen years, had a bit of time off, went back to school, got my cosmetology license and became a hair stylist. I'm now about six months in to being entirely self employed -although, not entirely by choice- and when I'm not working, I'm working on ME. Partly because, ofcourse, I want to be fantastic in every possible way both for myself and for everyone else in the world and partly because I believe in what may just boil down to magic.
I use the word magic lightly and only because I can't think of a better word to sum it all up. A lot of my reading and research and learning brings me into contact with various shades of the idea that your life is simply what you imagine into fruition. And I love this concept and am working with it as much as possible. But there does seem to be a learning curve and it's all kind of a big experiment anyway, right?So what I aim to do from here on is continue to share information that I find and tell you in as much detail as possible how I use the information, what practices I introduce into my life and how it all works out.
I hope that the results will be stupendously amazing and I think that in order to see the transformation I will have to tell you exactly what's going on with me now so that as things unfold you will see the contrast, and the magic.
I now present to you: all the gory details.
As it stands now I have about $100 in the bank and maybe $25 in my wallet. I pay $150 per week for my hair studio and have a couple small monthly expenses related to my website. I also live in a very affordable apartment and have all the usual living expenses, minus a student loan payment, cleared that a while back.
Clearly, where business is concerned, things are not developing as quickly as I'd like them to be and I am often pretty uncomfortable with this. I'm working really hard with as many marketing tools as I can find, constantly looking for more and better ways to grow my business. I'm also searching for additional sources of income both traditional and creative which is part of what has brought me to this point.
For years I've read about and experienced manifesting miracles. (This is when the "magic" starts.) And the thing about it is that it's really hard. It all seems to happen in that moment when I feel that there is no hope and I have no idea what to do next.
One of the first times I experienced this in the recent past was last summer. I was taking care of a families pets while they were away on vacation (one of my other sources of income) and one evening when I arrived I found the saddest and sweetest dog hiding in the alley behind their house. He was in terrible shape: had awful scars all over as if he'd been used for fighting as well as some fresher, though minor, wounds. His fur was sparse and dry and he was so skinny you could see his bones sticking out all over. As I passed by his hiding spot my eyes were immediately drawn to his and I tell you it was a religious experience, I have never seen anything like them. Obviously I took him home with me. In the time between finding him and arriving home we'd already encountered a lot of people and a number of animals and his behavior was excellent. I could tell he was pretty scared but he seemed to trust that I wasn't going to let anything happen to him. I already knew that (even though I really wanted to) I couldn't keep him, I already have two dogs and a cat, but I figured I'd take him home and figure it out from there. He was not going to the shelter under any circumstances.
Unfortunately this is when I learned that my younger dog would not accept any new family members. I must have gone terribly wrong somewhere because although he has always been sweet and friendly with all people and animals we've encountered before and since, for me to escort another animal into the house is forbidden and met with crazy gorilla behavior that I find utterly unbelievable. Sadly, I put my dog back inside and took the street dog down to my local pet store to ask about local rescues. There are so many active in my area that I thought surely someone would be connected, willing and able to help me find a place for this poor dog to stay but their best advice was to take him to the shelter and I felt that was simply not an option. So I sat down outside not knowing what to do. I literally did not have a thought in my head. I couldn't go home and I didn't know where else to go. My only hope at that point was that someone passing by might stop and have some better advice for me.
In less than five minutes a neighbor I knew only slightly passed by, out with his own dog for an evening walk. He paused and shared a treat with the street pup and I told him the story. He asked me what I was going to do and I honestly told him I was stumped. After considering the pup for all of 30 seconds he offered to let him stay in his garage and in that instant I felt I'd experienced a miracle.
The way I see it, it all comes down to this: you do everything that you can possibly think of, you never give up trying in whatever way there is even if it seems you're getting nowhere. And when finally you pause and give up and stay open (this is key: you cannot pause and give up and close, closing is when you feel like you know what is going to happen -in this case if I had even considered taking the dog to the shelter that's where he would have ended up but I knew it would be a terrible and I refused to even consider it) the miracle happens.
I have since miracled up $16,000 -literally out of the blue- which allowed me to pay off my student loan and last years taxes, take some advanced classes, start my business and helped me support myself for the last seven months. I was in a similar situation to where I am now: working as much as possible but making nowhere near what I needed and with no idea what to do next.
So you see, I'm now working on creating a similar miracle but also a more sustainable one. Staying positive takes a lot of discipline when you're not sure how you're going to pay your rent or feed your pets or yourself. I have a vision of what I want to create but I know that I have to stay open to surprise developments that may take me on a different path. I am exercising every creative muscle in my mind and body at all times and I've decided to share it all with you here.
This here is a fairly new idea for me and one of the challenges is sharing all this personal information but I believe that if I do and if everyone who reads, is at the very least somewhat entertained and at the most inspired, sends a kind and supportive thought to the universe for me it can only help strengthen whatever wonderful life I am working toward and, hopefully, it will also challenge people to create more for themselves. So check back for new stories and all the great practices I'll be writing about.
(Photo's are of my sweet street pup who is the most wonderful dog I've ever met. He still lives very happily with the neighbor who took him in and has a very good and happy life.)