The stars have been good to me.

The magical moments really surprised me today. I get a bit stuck in my head when I'm trying too hard which is what happens when I have too much time on my hands...
Earlier in the day I had some things to attend to and felt really in the flow but by the end of the day all I seemed to be doing was waiting around for the routine markers: time for the animals to eat, time for our walk, etc.
By the time I was out walking the dogs I was conscious that I was trying to keep things flowing. And honestly, I almost didn't get why this evening's magic was so hard to interpret.
It came in the form of a random encounter with an old work friend from quite a while ago. I knew it meant something as I haven't seen her in so long but I didn't get it because talking about old work gets in my head and bugs me.
Hours later now and a number of revelations later -all brought on by the insights she shared in out conversation- I realized just how lucky I am to be in the position I'm currently in.
I've always known this but I have to admit that I had never fully noticed and acknowledged all of the magic and luck that I encountered on my path to the present. I have known that I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing for a long time. I sometimes feel a little awkward about it as doing hair isn't really all that "important", like being a doctor, for example. But I enjoy it, I have a natural talent for it and it really makes sense to me as being both creative and practical -it's something that cannot be done by a robot, cannot be outsourced and everyone gets a haircut at some point. I actually did consider this when making my decision and was surprised that she came up with this same point, as well.
As I was saying, I knew I'd been lucky in a number of ways but you know, sometimes you lose track. Also, sometimes you don't feel like you're getting the support and enthusiasm you feel you need from the universe and you need someone to remind you in language that really speaks to you and this is what happened for me in that conversation.
Mazel tov means "good luck" in Hebrew. I already knew that, I was raised Jewish. What I didn't know is that the literal translation is actually "may the stars be good to you".

My favorite recent story of magic is this one:

If you read the previous few posts you already know that I practice meditation and am really into maintaining my health as naturally as possible.

After reading an article about vitamin D I decided that this summer I would try a little experiment -sunbathing every day on my back porch for 15 minutes. Business has fluctuated between very slow and picking up, week to week, since I started out on my own. I wanted to spend all of my time being as productive as possible and I also wanted to always be focusing on how to improve business. And as I also know that the state I'm in is as important as anything else, there are times when it all is one. 

So one day as I went out for my quick sunbath I decided that I was going to try to meditate without listening to any recorded messages or sounds. 

I lay down on the porch and tried to clear my head. I acknowledged the wind that I could feel and hear, I acknowledged all the sounds around me and the feeling of being outdoors which is so different than the feeling of being indoors. I acknowledged the feeling of the sun and the brightness on the other side of my closed eyelids. I thought to myself, "Dear universe that is within me and all around me, please send me what I need." At the time I was really wanting to have some new appointments booked and so what I hoped would happen is that I would get some new messages from my online booking system or a phone call or an email from a new client or two but I wasn't really trying to be specific. The phrase just felt appropriate in that moment.

After the timer went off (to keep from staying out too long and getting a serious burn) I went inside and just as I walked through the door my phone rang. I didn't think all that much of it but when I answered it was, in fact, a brand new client. Brilliant! I thought. We talked for a couple minutes, working out the details of her appointment, and when she mentioned that she also worked for herself I asked her what she did. She told me she was a spiritual healer and my initial "Brilliant!" kaleidescoped internally.

I'm sharing this, in part, for the obvious story of having manifested something amazing in a mere 15 minute sunbath, but also because it brings me to this really fantastic message: we often think we know exactly what we need. We ask for it over and over, we're always focused on it and when it doesn't seem to be coming to us we get reeeeally frustrated and disappointed. The truth is, you always get what you need. You may not know it or recognize it but it always comes. Give the universe a break and stop asking for specific things at specific times, if you really want to see it work just ask for it to send you what you need.

When I met this woman to do her hair it was the most lovely visit I've had with any person in many years -and I have some really fantastic clients. I felt almost as if I were taking advantage because just being in her presence is very healing and I have never met anyone before who seemed to see me and intuit me so accurately. I have my first appointment with her next week and I'm beyond excited. I have no idea what we'll end up talking about or what she might tell me or help me work out but I know it's going to be really amazing. 

For a quick shift of mood or perspective I've recently learned the beauty of list making. I've always been a list maker but perviously they were generally toward the practical -tasks I needed to keep track of, things I wanted to do for myself, and elements of the future I want to create. That last one may seem less practical and more in line with the magic, it was intended to be.
I recently saw a video of an excellent talk given by Mike Robbins and followed it by reading both his books (ok, I devoured the first one and am halfway through the second one now) and becoming a super fan. While what he talks about is, basically, pretty common personal development stuff he presents it in a brand new way and clearly has a pretty strong grasp of the magic but with his background in sports he comes across as very much a man's man and it's a beautiful blend of qualities.
Following his advice I've started to make gratitude lists at least twice a day. Once in the morning to get me thinking in the best possible way and once in the evening when I can incorporate things that actually happened during the day and the ways that those things shifted my perspective and process.
When I initially read about this I thought that I kind of did this already and I wasn't super excited about incorporating it into my life but I'll try anything once or twice. As I wrote the first list I was really amazed at how I felt myself changing into another person, I felt my vision clear, I felt a little lightheaded and the results were amazing.
Much as we all know that there are many things we're grateful for, it's interesting how little we realize just how grateful we are until we actually sit and give them some undivided attention.
The first time I made a list it started with really obvious things like how grateful I am to have this lovely apartment that I live in. I knew this all along, just last fall when my building changed owners I thought about it a lot as I wondered if I'd be asked to move out. But at that time, wanting to embrace the possibility of change with a positive attitude, rather than think about how grateful I was to be here I thought about where I might want to move and how amazing it would be there.
As the list progressed I touched on all the every day things and eventually more spiritual things but each item I added amazed me at the feeling of actually expressing it. I'm very grateful to have all of my arms and legs and very grateful that they all work but I never think about it. I'm grateful for the freedom I have to make my own decisions independent of the needs of another, but rather than consider or express that I usually am thinking how nice it would be to have a boyfriend or a husband to share responsibilities with. It amazed me that to simply choose to look at what I have made such a huge difference and I know that I'll never go back. I've since been making lists every day. It was a great exercise to start up during the brief time when my meditation practice fell by the wayside. I do kind of wonder just how much of my time I can devote to the many practices I'm collecting but when I start to think that way now I only realize how grateful I am to have the time to do these things for myself.

Resurrection, Rebirth & MAGIC!

If you've been reading this site regularly you may already have a general idea of my what some of my beliefs and values are. I'm an avid student of astrology and have even begun to develop my own theories about it, after spending more than ten years consuming all that I could. I feel very strongly about the power of belief and all things that are created in the mind. And I see how obvious it is that all of nature and the world and it's millions of bits and pieces are one massive, complicated, bizarre organism.

Over the past two and a half years I left a job I worked at for fourteen years, had a bit of time off, went back to school, got my cosmetology license and became a hair stylist. I'm now about six months in to being entirely self employed -although, not entirely by choice- and when I'm not working, I'm working on ME. Partly because, ofcourse, I want to be fantastic in every possible way both for myself and for everyone else in the world and partly because I believe in what may just boil down to magic.

I use the word magic lightly and only because I can't think of a better word to sum it all up. A lot of my reading and research and learning brings me into contact with various shades of the idea that your life is simply what you imagine into fruition. And I love this concept and am working with it as much as possible. But there does seem to be a learning curve and it's all kind of a big experiment anyway, right?So what I aim to do from here on is continue to share information that I find and tell you in as much detail as possible how I use the information, what practices I introduce into my life and how it all works out.

I hope that the results will be stupendously amazing and I think that in order to see the transformation I will have to tell you exactly what's going on with me now so that as things unfold you will see the contrast, and the magic.

I now present to you: all the gory details.

As it stands now I have about $100 in the bank and maybe $25 in my wallet. I pay $150 per week for my hair studio and have a couple small monthly expenses related to my website. I also live in a very affordable apartment and have all the usual living expenses, minus a student loan payment, cleared that a while back. 

Clearly, where business is concerned, things are not developing as quickly as I'd like them to be and I am often pretty uncomfortable with this. I'm working really hard with as many marketing tools as I can find, constantly looking for more and better ways to grow my business. I'm also searching for additional sources of income both traditional and creative which is part of what has brought me to this point.

For years I've read about and experienced manifesting miracles. (This is when the "magic" starts.) And the thing about it is that it's really hard. It all seems to happen in that moment when I feel that there is no hope and I have no idea what to do next. 

One of the first times I experienced this in the recent past was last summer. I was taking care of a families pets while they were away on vacation (one of my other sources of income) and one evening when I arrived I found the saddest and sweetest dog hiding in the alley behind their house. He was in terrible shape: had awful scars all over as if he'd been used for fighting as well as some fresher, though minor, wounds. His fur was sparse and dry and he was so skinny you could see his bones sticking out all over. As I passed by his hiding spot my eyes were immediately drawn to his and I tell you it was a religious experience, I have never seen anything like them. Obviously I took him home with me. In the time between finding him and arriving home we'd already encountered a lot of people and a number of animals and his behavior was excellent. I could tell he was pretty scared but he seemed to trust that I wasn't going to let anything happen to him. I already knew that (even though I really wanted to) I couldn't keep him, I already have two dogs and a cat, but I figured I'd take him home and figure it out from there. He was not going to the shelter under any circumstances.

Unfortunately this is when I learned that my younger dog would not accept any new family members. I must have gone terribly wrong somewhere because although he has always been sweet and friendly with all people and animals we've encountered before and since, for me to escort another animal into the house is forbidden and met with crazy gorilla behavior that I find utterly unbelievable. Sadly, I put my dog back inside and took the street dog down to my local pet store to ask about local rescues. There are so many active in my area that I thought surely someone would be connected, willing and able to help me find a place for this poor dog to stay but their best advice was to take him to the shelter and I felt that was simply not an option. So I sat down outside not knowing what to do. I literally did not have a thought in my head. I couldn't go home and I didn't know where else to go. My only hope at that point was that someone passing by might stop and have some better advice for me. 

In less than five minutes a neighbor I knew only slightly passed by, out with his own dog for an evening walk. He paused and shared a treat with the street pup and I told him the story. He asked me what I was going to do and I honestly told him I was stumped. After considering the pup for all of 30 seconds he offered to let him stay in his garage and in that instant I felt I'd experienced a miracle.

The way I see it, it all comes down to this: you do everything that you can possibly think of, you never give up trying in whatever way there is even if it seems you're getting nowhere. And when finally you pause and give up and stay open (this is key: you cannot pause and give up and close, closing is when you feel like you know what is going to happen -in this case if I had even considered taking the dog to the shelter that's where he would have ended up but I knew it would be a terrible and I refused to even consider it) the miracle happens.

I have since miracled up $16,000 -literally out of the blue- which allowed me to pay off my student loan and last years taxes, take some advanced classes, start my business and helped me support myself for the last seven months. I was in a similar situation to where I am now: working as much as possible but making nowhere near what I needed and with no idea what to do next. 

So you see, I'm now working on creating a similar miracle but also a more sustainable one. Staying positive takes a lot of discipline when you're not sure how you're going to pay your rent or feed your pets or yourself. I have a vision of what I want to create but I know that I have to stay open to surprise developments that may take me on a different path. I am exercising every creative muscle in my mind and body at all times and I've decided to share it all with you here. 

This here is a fairly new idea for me and one of the challenges is sharing all this personal information but I believe that if I do and if everyone who reads, is at the very least somewhat entertained and at the most inspired, sends a kind and supportive thought to the universe for me it can only help strengthen whatever wonderful life I am working toward and, hopefully, it will also challenge people to create more for themselves. So check back for new stories and all the great practices I'll be writing about. 

(Photo's are of my sweet street pup who is the most wonderful dog I've ever met. He still lives very happily with the neighbor who took him in and has a very good and happy life.)