Friday, October 14, 2011

It Happened Today

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I have a huge aversion to defining and planning. I like to live free and loose, let come what may. At the rare times in life when I have felt a plan was required I've always noticed that it has to be changed, has to be flexible, even has to be abandoned. The times in my life which were most successful have been unplanned. I've found it's best to just think of the desired outcome and let opportunities unroll before me.
This is not to say I haven't tried to be a more traditional planner. I certainly have, for most of my life I've been told this is the ONLY way. And what I've found is that I have never been able to achieve any success by following prescribed steps. It's only at the times when I've abandoned everything and just lived in which anything of significance has been achieved. And so finally I abandoned believing in planning too.
But people, oooh people. People will tell you you MUST. It is required, it is not optional. You must tell us exactly who you are, what you intend to do, the steps you will follow and the outcome you will achieve. And for some this works, I've seen it work. Sometimes it's successful, often it's anticlimactic. I find it dull and it fails me every time. I don't know who I am. I don't know where I'm going and the steps that will get me there haven't yet been revealed. But I know that each time I've needed and I have said what I needed, it's found a way into my life. And I've found that those things which I thought I needed most, and which found their ways into my life via the hardest of work, were the most disappointing. And so now there is no longer any thing that is so monumental, which feels so unattainable that I cannot have them simply by expressing a secret silent desire. A signal.
And this is how I will live forever.

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