Sunday, June 24, 2012

Last night I had a dream of a climbing journey to get home. I found one of my neighbors at the bottom of a flight of stairs like the ones that do climb the hill to the street I live on but in the dream they were steeper. As I was climbing the steps ahead of me were very close to my face, almost as if they were a ladder leaned against the side of the building. I clung to the railing equally pulling myself up and climbing with my legs. At the top of the stairway I found myself on the side of a very tall mountain with a ledge/path around the side of it. While the stairway had been lush on both sides and seemingly enclosed this path was completely exposed on one side and very, very high up. I stayed down close to the ground and the neighbor I was with reminded me of a few of my old guy friends from teenage years, mellow and just there to be a good companion. Supportive but not pushy. I told him the height was hard for me, I had vertigo and I was scared that maybe I couldn't make it all the way to my house. I  felt like I knew the way and knew it was waiting there for me somewhere but it didn't feel like a familiar route though it seemed to be the only route. He said it was ok, we'd take a break and that he had some pot and that would make me feel braver (which does sound like one or two of those old guy friends). We paused on the ledge path and he showed me the safest place to sit. I knew I'd be ok, I knew I'd make it, I was just at that scary spot. It was a good feeling dream.
Today is the first Pluto Uranus square of a series which will happen over the course of the next few years. I know it's a big deal, I know it's going to make something happen but I don't really know what it is yet. There are a lot of things happening in my life right now that would have once been terrifying to me. It's an interesting time. But I'm dealing and I'm getting greater and braver. These are, in fact, the kinds of times I wish for when I'm bored and nothing has changed in too long. I guess we'll see what really happens and whether or not it feels particularly difficult or if I really notice it much at all. Sometimes we're so open and ready that changes are easy, they happen smoothly.

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