Wednesday, July 14, 2010

When I was about 13 I used to sleep over at my best friend's house and we would sneak out for a long walk in the middle of the night. This is one of those random things I never really tried to keep a secret as an adult but I've somehow never told anyone.
It seems small now but for 13 year old girls to be out walking miles from home in the middle of the night is not approved of. This became a tradition with me and each consecutive friend. It always felt very freeing. There's nothing like late night air of any season and the stillness when everyone else has gone to bed and there are few if any cars passing. Maybe I was a coyote in my last life. I don't know but this was something I couldn't not do.
Later this became a real talent when there were parties and boyfriends that kept us out after curfew.
This message to me keeps coming up in readings I've gotten: there's some part of me from my much younger self that I must have lost at some point. Over the last few years I was supposed to take it back. I think maybe it was my love of adventure. I'm thinking to myself now: it's no wonder I ended up with these dogs, we have the same need. The recent vacation from having a car reminded me that not only do I need to walk, I need to go out and really move further out in the world. I have not taken it for granted one day since I got my new car. I drive new routes for the scenery, I never choose not to go to a place or event that occurs to me. I do whatever I want. And that has always been my favorite bratty phrase: I can do whatever I want.

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