Thursday, September 27, 2012

My love life's been something between a disaster and dead in the water for quite some time now but recently I've seen it perking up again. Only trouble is that I'm so out of practice that I think I keep screwing it up because I'm so stunned at the possibility. Faced with what appears to be a genuinely interested guy the little voice inside my head says, "What, ME? This guy? This super nice incredibly handsome guy? He likes me? You think?"
Every time I realize too late that maybe I wasn't responding with the proper amount of enthusiasm to convey that the interest is mutual it's too late and I spend at least a week trying to imagine that we meet again by chance the same way we met before. But we usually don't. Until my most recent flirt. I have to admit that as truly nice as he seems to be and as much as he seems open and interested I'm needing a little convincing and was totally prepared to give it the time as he was so conveniently located in the building next to where I was working but then I quit that job.
Yup. Foiled again. I am, in fact, writing this with one intention only: to embarrass myself out of possibly of leaving a note on his car. I've heard stories of people doing things like that with excellent outcomes but it's usually the guy. Also, I always like to believe that what's meant to happen will happen no matter the circumstances. And, although I've given up on believing in 'predictions' of any kind from any person, I still want to believe in the guy who will "pursue me without fear or shame" as someone once told me. And maybe I'm also reminding the universe that I'm patiently waiting for another opportunity, if not with this one then bring on the next!
The bottom line is that being between jobs and not independently wealthy is kind of dull. The mind wanders and ill conceived plots are... well, conceived.

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