Last night was the full moon in Scorpio. A full moon in and of itself usually creates a lot of noticeable chaos in the neighborhood -especially falling on a Saturday AND Cinco de Mayo but last night was noticeably still and quiet for pretty much any day of the year (except most Sundays, most Sunday nights are quiet as hell). Here's the thing: it's not that I don't like peace and quiet. In fact, I don't particularly love the craziness that can come with some full moons, but for a Cinco de Mayo to be so quiet? No neighborhood parties blaring music and loud kids all afternoon and into the night? It's just unreal. And, to me, kind of depressing. That's part of what feels like home to me. Not that I listen to Ranchero music (or even really know what any other types of popular Latino music are called...) but when I hear it I know I'm home. It leads me to the confusing spot I find myself in often: What exactly bothers me about this? The fact that I wasn't trying desperately to block the sounds of loud music all night after six days of noisy construction sounds? The fact that the dog wasn't running down to the fence between my yard and my neighbors to bark and stare at them through the small open space because he can smell their barbeque? The fact that I didn't have to close the windows to keep the barbeque smoke out of my house? But there's something lovely about the sounds of the neighborhood parties and the feeling of all their energy in the air. I think the bottom line is that it's just duller this way.
Sort of related but not really is that I just read a book (fiction) about a North American girl whose parents are diplomats. She was born in Cuba but grew up in various countries and learns at 13, when her mother is dying, that her real father in Cuban. After college she goes to Cuba to find him and I'm not going to ruin anything about the story so that's all I'm saying. Read it, it's called Dirty Blonde and Half-Cuban (by Lisa Wixon). Anyway, the story is great and I love her voice but what was most interesting for me was my overly emotional response to the book. I think partly because the timing coincided with the full moon and all but it brought up a lot of interesting things for me including the contrast of the character of Cuba in relation to the character of the US (and then, personalizing it for myself, the character of my little hood). I'm not even going to begin to complain about any specifically North American things but I have to admit that I got really excited about the idea of living a life not centered on capitalism. The resulting hustle to get by doesn't frighten me in the least, in a way it's how I've been living for the last year and a half (and sort of off and on most of my adult life as I've rarely been in a position where I was even reasonably comfortable financially). I love the attitude she describes Cubans as having about their circumstances and the way she tells of them living with so much joy and loving their country in spite of it all. I have to say it all made me feel 97% ready to run off to Cuba forever -if only I could get my dogs and cat there- except that nearly all of the women prostitute themselves in order for their families to survive and I'm just not up for that.
I'm feeling bored this evening and wishing for some kind of adventure. At my age these are harder and harder to come by locally since so much less is shocking or new. It's been a long time since I felt I was wandering into the unknown and I'm ready for a big trip somewhere soon.... Hopefully somewhere beautiful and warm with lot's of dilapidated but beautiful old buildings -my favorite kind of architecture.