Astro Rant

Reading something just now prompted me to look at the my natal chart with the current transits. I've been wondering for ages now how a generally written for everyone forecast can be accurate for me (or anyone else for that matter) as in my chart the signs and houses don't line up quite as they traditionally are drawn. In fact, all my excitement about having Neptune and Chiron finally move on from Aquarius to Pisces -perhaps it's not exactly as definitive as I thought it was as they're both now in my 1st house (the whole of Pisces being inside my 1st house) which is the house of 'self'.
The interesting thing I'm looking at right now is that for the past year I've been hearing that Jupiter was in my house of home and that maybe I would move or do huge renovations and the like and in truth I didn't have the opportunity or ability to do any of those things. But suddenly now, with Jupiter smack in the middle of my 4th house, NOT in my 5th house as general horoscopes are saying, my apartment building nearly went into foreclosure (a few months ago) and the landlord has just had workers here for the last week repainting the entire exterior, repairing the crumbly stairs and fixing up a couple of nasty bits in my apartment that he'd been neglecting for years. THAT is totally Jupiter in my 4th house and so is the possibility of moving once the place has sold (whenever that happens....).
Also, I just realized that although I'm being told that Pluto has been transiting my 12th house, it's actually in my 11th (ruling groups and community) which explains why these areas have been going through cycles of tearing down and rebuilding for years now.
I have to admit, with all the attention I pay to this stuff I'm always surprised at how I can suddenly see things all at once in a moment (as now) that I couldn't see for years and years of staring at my chart and transits. It's all become clear! And I'm quite relieved to find that my True Node is in the 9th house and not the 10th as I'd been thinking all this time -how do I overlook these things?! (And THIS is why I'm reluctant to do readings.) It makes so much more sense, I'm not the type to believe that my career is my life (indicated by a 10th house placement) but I crave major travel (9th house) and have been working quite hard at overcoming a tendency toward logic for my sometimes nonsensical and elusive but strong and accurate intuition which is very 9th house vs. 3rd house (and which just guided me to quit my job BEFORE having secured the next because I just KNOW it's actually all going to work out and it was best for me to get the hell out of there asap). How strange that I can suddenly see everything all the better... Does this happen to everyone? I should look for the aspect illustrating this moment.

A "bad" life only makes a "good" story if it's absolutely tragic.
I've been thinking about the expanse of my entire life lately, in an attempt to convince myself that some things actually can and do change magnificently and profoundly in a lifetime. I'm trying to convince myself about one particular area, actually. I don't know anyone less lucky in love than me -not that anyone's ever physically beaten me or anything equally awful. But that's just what I mean. Not only have I not particularly enjoyed my love life but it doesn't even make for an exciting story. And since I feel I've never gotten anywhere near what I wanted I can't quite imagine it turning around suddenly when the whole concept that it exists seems scarce enough.
People say that the way you feel about your relationship to love is the same story as the way you feel about your relationship to money.
I'm trying to work out some new relationships to both.
Seems to me, if I can do it with one the other simply follows.

What does it mean to dream of rooms and room full of old furniture? These things are not in my dictionary of symbolism. And by "rooms full" I mean warehouses full of furniture that is not only throughout the room but then stacked up. Imagine tall sandwiches of old sofa's, like they've been through the car crusher -they sit atop each other so flush.
I once saw a big flat bed semi truck on the freeway loaded up with flattened cars. It was beautiful.

There was a while there where Pinterest was all I needed to escape. Just arranging pretty images and great quotes would recharge me a bit from the icks of ordinary life but it doesn't seem to be working quite the same lately.
First off, I'm working again. And that doesn't mean the same thing that it used to. On the one hand I absolutely love what I'm doing and I'm really happy with the choice I made. On the other, one of the many trials that it's brought about for me is actually understanding in my brain that I am now a professional hair stylist. I just realized it again today when I went to buy more feather razor blades. I pulled out my professional "club" card for the store and it struck me that this is what I am. I'm sure it sounds ridiculous but it's kind of a weird ongoing inner battle to accept it all.
On top of that I've been co-fostering a stray I found a few weeks ago. It was one of those amazing experiences in which I acted entirely on instinct without thinking anything through and it all went beautifully. Now, ofcourse, there are things coming up that need to be dealt with -proper training and emotional support, most specifically- and it's like trying to parent with a partner whose style is really incompatible with your own. Which creates another weird inner battle for confidence in my dog rearing style and beliefs as the only thing that's important to me is that the dog comes away from us better than when I found him -and he was pretty much an angel when I found him. How do you tell someone kind, generous and loving that he's capable of turning the sweetest dog ever into a nervous, dominant aggressive wreck?

I think I'm a little lovesick over someone I don't even know. So what else is new, right?
It was one of those chance meetings with a short conversation and the kind of eyes that let you see just enough of something lovely to make you think there's a whole lot more in there. What to do, what to do.......